How to Believe in Yourself and Bring Success into Your Life

Whatever you want from life, be it better health, a promotion at work, being more creative, you need to believe you can reach the goal.

What is the goal you want to achieve? What are your beliefs about this goal?

Here are some health goals you may consider, getting 7-8 hours of sleep daily, 30-60 minutes of exercise regularly, being free of addictions, and plan daily spiritual timelike yoga or meditation.

Business goals maybe, retain or gain more customers, or start using social media to build your business.

Personal goals maybe, self-development, learn a new skill or hobby, let go of the past, travel, or be more creative.

All of the above goals are much easier to achieve if you to believe in yourself.

If you want to start meditating to gain all the health benefits, you need to believe you can make it happen. If we start by saying it is hard or I can’t do it, I have too many thoughts, we will not get very far with the practise and give up.

Believing in ourselves.

Many of us have negative beliefs from childhood buried in our subconscious. These beliefs often form our negative self-talk and stop us from being successful in life. A good practice is to stand in front of the mirror in the morning, and before you go to bed and listen to your self-talk when a negative thought comes to mind, counteract it with positive words. An example, “I am not creative” simply say, “my creativity is unique and good”. By doing this, you remind yourself of the truth of your abilities before your mind absorbed the negativity in your environment as a child.

If you are often around people who are negative and put you down, start to spend less time with them. Spend time with people who give you encouragement and help. If you do not want to be held back from success, limiting your time with negative people is helpful. Negativity is contagious, like flu.

Only you can believe in yourself, ask yourself, “how would the person I wish to be, act in this situation?” Act like the person you want to be; let go of your self-doubts.   If you would like to learn more about letting go of limiting beliefs holding you back from success or learning how to meditate to improve your life, email Rosemary

Six simple ways to increase your self-motivation

Self Motivation

What does self-motivation mean, the dictionary says, “able and willing to work without being told what to do”. Therefore, self-motivation is an important skill to have. It drives you to keep going even when you are faced with setbacks in achieving your goals.

Here are some ways to help keep you motivated.

Start your day with gratitude and appreciation.

Be thankful for how you feel, and when you are asked, “how are you today?” give a positive answer, “I am fantastic, excellent or great” G.R.E.A.T. stands for Getting Really Excited About Today. You may be thinking about what I have to be excited about. Start living each day as the greatest day of your life, be excited for another day to help your friends and family, be a positive influence. Self-motivation should start the minute you wake up. Do something special for you; this could be your regular skincare routine, a shower with a special shower gel, be creative; if you struggle to do nice things for yourself, you are unlikely to be helpful or productive for others.

Reward yourself.

After being good to yourself, reward yourself; this can be any small treat or your breakfast. Preferably something that is repeated. It is easier to keep yourself motivated when you provide recognition to yourself.

Self-motivation has to come from you.

No one can give you self-motivation, you can be motivated by getting money or other outside influences, but that is not lasting; it can be taken away at any time. Live your life from the inside out, not the outside in and embrace enduring self-motivation.

Taking control of your life

There are things you cannot control, for example, the weather, traffic, what other people say or do. If you cannot control something, just let it be. There are things in life that are possible to control, like your thoughts, your ego, your reactions, and your attitude. These are all part of self-motivation. Changing your perspective on life will boost your self-motivation.

Know yourself.

Answer these questions, be honest for the most beneficial results to improve your self-motivation. You may wish to work with a trusted friend or therapist to dig deeper into your thoughts.

  • What are your values?
  • What are your strengths and weaknesses?
  • What motivates you?
  • What demotivates you?
  • What are your fears and perceived limitations?
  • How can you overcome them?
  • What are your negative habits?
  • What positive habits can replace them?

What you want from life.

Self-motivation is a necessary to achieve your goals and dreams, write your dreams and goals down.

Set out an action plan, break it down into small steps. Take action on your plan. Self-motivation is the actual doing. Thinking about it leads to procrastination. Give yourself permission to learn; this may mean failing once or twice before you get it right. This is normal; think about how a toddler learns to walk.

I am Often Asked how to Keep our Lives Calm!

Here are some brilliant ways to keep calmness in your life.

We need to change our perception and our thoughts to a way of calmness and love. Using Louise Hay’s affirmation “Life Loves You” while standing in front of a mirror and repeating this ten times, acknowledging the thoughts and feelings that come up. Make sure you let go of all the negative thoughts coming from your ego or inner critic. Be kind and loving to yourself.

Many of the actions below have been taken from “The Little Book of Calm”, by Paul Wilson

  1. Select your company well. As harsh as it may sound, mixing with highly stressed people will make you feel stressed. On the other hand, mixing with calm people will leave you feeling calm even for the briefest period.
  2. Invest in a fruit bowl. The more beautiful your bowl, the better stocked it is, the less likely you are to turn to stress-enhancing snack foods. Eat more fruit, and you will feel more relaxed – it’s as sweet as that.
  3. Worry when the time comes. Most worries are future-based. They revolve around things that, in most cases, will never happen. Concentrate on the present, and the future will take care of itself.
  4. Pamper your feet. Soak your feet, then massage them with moisturiser or a relaxing combination of essential oils. You will feel blissfully relaxed in no time. You can read my post about massaging your feet here.
  5. Wet face towel. As any beauty therapist or barber will tell you, nothing soaks away facial stress and tension quite so efficiently as a damp hot towel. You can read about my natural face treatment here.
  6. Reaffirm your friendships. If you tend to get overly serious with your work or responsibilities, remind yourself that the most common deathbed regrets relate to neglected relationships, not unfinished business.
  7. Think before you buy. To avoid the stresses of debt, think about what you can afford to spend long before thinking about what you would like to buy.
  8. Sleep on a patchouli pillow. Add three drops of patchouli or chamomile oil to your pillow every few nights for a blissfully calm sleep.

Contact Rosemary if you would like more information on staying calm or learning meditation.

Six Ways to Protect your Energy and Stay Positive in your Life.

Protecting your energy.

Having trained as an energy healer, I am in touch with my intuition and body. We are all made of energy vibrating at certain frequencies. Our energy centres called chakras all vibrate at a different frequency. My previous blog post explains more about each chakra. To stay balanced and grounded we need to stay connected to the earth. When you are feeling unbalanced try some of the techniques below, to help balance your body.

1. Go out into Nature

We should try and spend time daily in nature, connecting to the energy of the trees, flowers, and mother earth. This is a beneficial way to centre and ground yourself. Working in the garden or an allottement with the earth also helps.

2. Grounding Yourself

I like to do this technique standing barefoot on grass, or a wooden floor indoors.

  • Stand with feet slightly apart and focus on your feet connecting with the ground.
  • Bring your attention to your belly and imagine and feel a golf ball size weight 3cm below your navel and in the centre of your body.
  • Gently and easily drop this ball from your belly down past your feet into the ground. Simply drop it and let gravity take it down deeper and deeper until you reach the molten core of the Earth.
  • On your inhale draw energy, up into your belly.
  • On the exhale, drop back down to the centre of the Earth. Repeat for 10 breaths.
  • Now repeat and draw Earths energy up and into your heart.
  • On your exhale, let the energy run energy down your arms and out of your palms. Repeat for 10 breaths.
  • Closing. On the inhale, swing arms out to sides and upwards with palms up and bring over your head. On the exhale, bring your hands down the front of your body Repeat 6-10 times   

Continue to feel your feet connecting with the ground beneath them. If you wish you can now sit on the ground and imagine roots connecting you the earth, and feel the earth nourishing you.

3. Root Chakra Balancing

The root chakra is red and positioned at the perineum. This chakra connects us to the earth and helps ground us like in the technique above. You can help balance this chakra by eating root vegetables and wearing red. Listening to music with frequencies between 256 and 396 Hz is helpful, and doing some yoga. Grounding your energy allows you to connect with your source or essence.

4. Baths

Take a handful of sea or Epsom salt, pour it into your bathtub, and lie in it for twenty minutes. You can also add a spoonful of baking soda. If you feel strong negative energies around you, take a bath with sulphur.

5. Plants

Many plants absorb and clear negative energy and produce negative ions for air purification. Place various plants with large green leaves—such as aloe vera, banana, peace lily, Cactus, snake plant, bamboo, and holy basil —around the house and on windowsills.

6. Keep your vibration high

Remember, we attract the vibration we are giving out. Therefore, if we are giving out love, we are much more likely to receive it back. Try to clear all your grudges; the only person they are hurting is you.

Want more energy? Balance your chakras to improve your energy flow.

What are Chakras?

The chakra system is a template for the flow of subtle energy that runs through all life and through the human energy system. It is like a ladder that takes us from the physical realm of substance up through the workings of the higher mind and spirit and into the realm of divine consciousness.

The subtle energy is the force field surrounding all living things. In the human body, this force field is the aura, and the seven layers of energy referred to as subtle bodies. These control our physical well-being, emotional stability, and mental clarity. They reflect our spiritual state and mirror how we feel about ourselves and life in general.

A chakra resembles a large cone and acts like a vortex drawing energy in. The outer lip catches the accumulated stress of the day. The body of the cone is all our ideas and attitudes about life. The seeds of our destiny are at the very tip where the chakra meets the energetic spine. These seeds cannot be opened until we have worked on removing our negativity and self-limiting beliefs. These beliefs and negativity block our energy.

Chakra energy and function.

When something in life happens that blocks the flow of life energy, the chakras slow down, and energy becomes sluggish and even stagnant. It this is a brief occurrence, the chakra will resume the natural flow. If the block is more permanent, the chakra will need stimulation to become active again. Our health and well-being are subject to our chakras being active and balanced. To find out more about the Chakra system, download my ebook or read my other posts on the individual chakras listed at the bottom of this post.

Root Chakra: linked to survival.

Physical energy, the adrenals, activating the fight or flight function of the kidneys.

Emotional energy, aggression, anger, violence, and jealousy, when the energy is not flowing here, we tend to show these negative emotions because we do not feel secure in life.

Mental energy, attitudes of separation, exclusivity, territory, belonging, your right to your own space.

Getting the Root energy flowing: Spend time in nature, walk barefoot in the sand, on the grass, or dirt. Eat healthy red foods, beets, tomatoes, berries, apples, and wear and accessorise with red accents. Try some of these activities, yoga, movement of any kind using legs and feet, any activity that is grounding, physical, and requires presence.

Sacral Chakra: linked to our ability to enjoy life, have pleasure in physical ways.

Physical energy, the ovaries and testes, the organs that control reproduction and sexual development.

Emotional energy, feeling good, deservedness, feeling bad, envious, and not caring for our bodies.

Mental energy, attitudes of having enough, knowing you deserve the life you say you want, enjoyment and wellbeing and good health.

Getting the Sacral energy flowing: Spend time near water, swimming or paddling. Eat healthy orange foods, carrots, oranges, melons and mangoes, wear and accessorise with accents of orange and surround your space with these tones. Try some of these activities, yoga, dance, swimming, and walking.

Solar Plexus Chakra: linked to our self-worth, freedom of choice and how we see ourselves.

Physical energy, the pancreas, the organ that processes sugar. It controls the digestion of food.

Emotional energy, self-confidence, power, clear choices for ourselves.                 

Mental energy, attitudes of knowing your worth and personal power, coming from a affirmed sense of selfhood.

Getting the solar plexus energy flowing: Sit in the sunlight, or enjoy sitting around a fire pit or candles indoors. Eat healthy yellow foods like bananas, ginger, turmeric, pineapple, sweetcorn, and wear yellow clothing and jewellery. Try these activities, sports, competitive programs, qi gong, hiking and cycling.

Heart Chakra: linked to giving and receiving love in our lives.

Physical energy, Thymus gland, building a strong immunity from pain and disease.

Emotional energy, being capable of love and compassion for self and others.

Mental energy, attitudes of happiness, joy and delight, embracing life.

Getting the heart energy flowing: Deep breathing, being in the open air, opening windows to let air circulate in your home or car. Eat green foods, broccoli, avocado, kale and spinach. Wear and accessorise with accents of green. Try these activities, yoga, massage, healing touch, walking, and dancing.

Throat Chakra: linked to creativity and self-expression, truth, and our ability to communicate clearly.

Physical energy, Thyroid gland, controlling metabolism and effects physical and mental development.

Emotional energy, releasing feeling through expression, including crying, shouting, laughing, and saying when you are not happy.

Mental energy, speaking the truth, not gossiping, sensing that expressing your truth is your key to individuality.

Getting the throat energy flowing: Sit outside in a clear space with a clear blue sky. Eat blue foods, blueberries, currants, dragon fruit, and kelp. Wear and accessorise with accents or various blue tones. Try these activities, alexander technique, yoga, osteopathic alignment of the spine, craniosacral therapy, expressive theatre and dance, qi gong, and tai chi.

Brow Chakra: linked to our wisdom, intuition, and ability to be focussed.

Physical energy, Pituitary gland, influences metabolism, growth and other hormones.

Emotional energy, giving yourself permission to experience your feelings. Choose the appropriate time to express them.

Mental energy, developing an understanding for your own limitations and those of others, cultivating gratitude.

Getting the brow energy flowing: Sit in stillness in the sunlight or relax in a window in the sun. Eat indigo foods, purple kale or broccoli, grapes, and blackberries. Wear and accessorise with indigo clothing and jewellery. Try any of these activities, yoga, tai chi, gi gong, bates eye exercises.

Crown Chakra: this is the centre of bliss, beauty, and spirituality. Allowing us the ability to connect with our source of being.

Physical energy, Pineal gland, produces melatonin, and regulates our body clock.

Emotional energy, wanting to cultivate bliss and surrender to what is.

Mental energy, developing holistic and universal principles of acceptance, respect, and knowing we never do anything without the help of a higher source.

Getting the Crown energy flowing: Connect with your wholeness through meditation or prayer. This chakra is nourished by spiritual practice, not food—practice self-reflection and curiosity. Wear and accessorise with the colour violet. The crown chakra needs stillness no physical exercise required.

If, after reading this, you feel one or more of your chakras are blocked, and you would like to book a chakra balancing or go deeper with energy healing, email Rosemary.

Root Chakra

Sacral Chakra

Solar Plexus Chakra

Heart Chakra

Throat Chakra

Third Eye Chakra

Crown Chakra

17 Affirmations to Help Calm your Anxiety.

Calm your anxiety with affirmations. Using the right affirmations for your anxiety, you will be able to calm your attacks be they take hold.  Below are some affirmations to help reduce your anxiety when you are on the verge of an attack. I would suggest keeping a list in your bag or on your phone until this becomes second nature and you have memorised the affirmations.       

How you can calm anxiety attacks with affirmations or mantras

These affirmations bring you into the present and allow you to ground yourself.  Repeating positive affirmations or phrases instil these messages in your brain, helping you become calm and in control. Affirmations are really simple and extremely useful to use when your anxiety strikes. Well known mantras are “om”, “om mani padme hum”, personal mantras could be “I am full of light”, “I belong, I have faith” mantras are most commonly used in meditation and have a more spiritual background. Although I have used these when out walking on my own. Mantras again are repeated frequently in your mind and will immerse you completely in an idea and bring you closer to your goal. Whatever you use to calm your anxiety has to feel right for you.

Challenge your negative thoughts with these affirmations.

To manage our anxiety, we need to learn how to change our anxious thought patterns using affirmations or mantras. When you start to feel your anxiety rising, instead of listening to the negative thoughts your mind immediately gives you, thoughts like, “I am having an anxiety attack” or “I am panicking”, these often lead to negative self-talk like, “I am so stupid, why did I do …….” Or I hate myself. Why do I do …………….”. As soon as you feel an attack coming, start to read your affirmations from your phone or written list. “I am calm”, “I can feel this fear and let it pass”,, and “I am in control”.

Breaking the cycle of anxiety with affirmations

Anxious thought patterns get embedded in the brain each time you experience an anxiety attack. You can either programme your brain to react to the situation with the negative thought patterns creating anxiety or use positive affirmations to reduce your anxiety. Therefore, you can break the cycle of anxiety by using positive affirmations and mantras to rewire your brain through plasticity.

Not using any form of positive strategies like affirmations or mantras, you feed your fear of a situation, confirming to your brain that this situation results in panic. Using affirmations, you lessen the fear, forcing your brain to see this situation is not scary and not needing to release fear and panic and the fight and flight hormones.

Using affirmations can serve as a distraction to your anxiety.

Using affirmations serves as a distraction from your anxiety, giving you something else to focus on. Having positive affirmations in places around your home, on your phone as wallpapers take your brain away from the panic. By focusing on these positive affirmations, reciting them, so you memorise them will immediately bring your focus away from the anxiety attack, which will end your attacks quicker after time.

Rewire the brain with positive affirmations

Studies and science have shown that our brains can be rewired by our thoughts. Therefore, positive affirmations and thoughts can change your brain to be more positive and creating less panic. We have all heard of positive thinking and positive self-talk; this is why it is so important. Your mind will always believe what you constantly tell it.  Continually affirming you are having a panic attack or will have one, your brain is more likely to make it happen. By repeating to yourself regularly, “I am calm,” your brain is more likely to make this happen.  Affirmations can change your life.

Affirmations to use when you are feeling anxious.

Below are some affirmations to use when you feel your anxiety and fear rising. These are short, so they are easier to remember and use: –

  • I am calm and in control”.
  • I feel the fear and let it go”.
  • “I am not defined by my anxiety”.
  • “I let my anxious thoughts flow in one ear and out the other.”
  • “I am okay.”
  • “I am getting through this anxious moment, just as I have done a million times before”.
  • “I am strong and resilient”.
  • “I choose to feel calm and peaceful”.
  • “I have survived this before; I will this survive now”.
  • “I am free from my anxiety. I am in control”.
  • “I am in charge of my breathing, and I can slow it down”.
  • “I can do this”.
  • “I am above stress of any kind”.
  • “I am familiar with these feelings, and they do not scare me”.
  • “I am surrounded by people who understand”.
  • “I am supported, loved and cared for”.
  • “I have the techniques and tools I need to persevere”.

Using affirmations to relieve your anxiety.

Affirmations can be used in meditation, while you are out walking when you are not experiencing anxiety, this further helps rewire our brains, there are many ways you can use them, you choose what is best for you. The one rule for helping anxiety is to recite an affirmation at least 10 times or until you feel it resonating with you, every time you are feeling anxious wherever you are.

When you have an attack you can, recite the affirmation silently to yourself, read it from your phone or paper list, or sit and write them down. Our brains all work differently, so choose the way feels most comfortable for you. You must keep repeating the affirmations for them to rewire your brain.

The above are only a few affirmations; there are hundreds more online and plenty of apps that will send you an affirmation each day. We are all at different stages of our anxiety, and using affirmations may not be enough for you. If you feel you need more support, please do not hesitate to contact me to support you further. There is lots of help out there, and you do not need to suffer in silence and alone.

If you are already on medication, DO NOT stop taking this without getting advice from your doctor.

10 Healthy Living Facts to Help you Improve your Life.

During my training as an energy healer, we covered nutrition and how processed food affects your health and energy levels. This post will cover a little about nutrition, straightforward ways to move more during the lockdown, and help your physical body. We will also cover ways to help your mind and spirit.

To work with me as a therapist or join our fortnightly online meditation group email Rosemary

Healthy Eating,

Most of us know sugary and processed foods are not the best choices for a healthy diet. Processed foods are any that have added ingredients. Try to eat at least 80% of fresh food.

  1. Vegetables are packed with the nutrients our body needs; they should be a major part of your healthy diet. Try experimenting with different recipes, finding ones you like, and use them in your lunches and dinners.
  2. Eating proper meals and healthy snacks. Snacking all day makes us think we are not eating much, but we miss out on essential nutrients and eat wasted calories. Eating healthy fats and proteins in complete meals helps to fill us up. If you need a snack, the following are more nutritional and keep you fuller longer, hardboiled egg, a portion of cheese, avocado, apple or other fruit, nuts, and red pepper with guacamole, cucumber slices with hummus, dried unsweetened coconut, and olives.
  3. What we drink, there is no nutritional benefit to alcohol, fizzy drinks, or fruit squashes. The caffeine acts as a diuretic, we, therefore, need to drink more fluids to replace those lost through drinking drinks high in caffeine.  Opting for green tea, herbal tea, or black coffee (keeping our coffee intake to no more than two cups a day, preferably cutting it out altogether).  The best fluid to drink is pure plain water, there are no calories or additives to worry about.  Drinking a glass of water before every meal will make you feel less hungry, and you will be drinking three glasses a day.

Exercise

We all know exercise is good for our bodies, however, it is so easy to sit and watch telly with a snack instead.

1.Walk More

Regular movement is key to so many health benefits. Aim for at least 10,000steps a day. Start easy, with these smallways to walk more and be healthier!

  • Decide to only take the stairs if you are walking less than six floors.
  • Park further away from supermarket entrance when you go shopping.
  • Walk during your work breaks.
  • Plan a walking meeting, or take your phone call while you walk.
  • Get up ten minutes earlier in the morning and take a short brisk walk before the chaos of the day.
  • Walk your kids to or from school, walk to work if it is close.
  • Take a family walk with the kids after dinner.
  • Schedule a once a week walk with a friend.
2. Short Workouts  

Long workouts are not necessary to be healthy.  For most of us, trying to fit in more than 20 minutes is a challenge.  We can try running on the spot or doing some squats while waiting for the kettle to boil or any other time we have a spare five minutes. We can do several basic exercises at home, squats, lunges, push-ups, tricep dips, plank, wall sits, burpees, and mountain climbers, these all get our muscles working again. There is lots of information on how to do these on the internet if you have never done them. You may want to get a professional to show you, though.  Build on this slowly over time, if we have been sedentary for a while, it will take several weeks to get our bodies moving again.

Healthy Mind

This is a balanced mental and emotional state. Where you are productive, feel confident, face your fears, and learn from your mistakes. To keep our minds healthy, we need to exercise and eat healthy as I have already discussed above and get enough sleep and stay mentally active. Your brain is similar to a muscle and needs to be used like any other muscle in your body.

  1. Sleep, getting seven to eight hours of sound sleep, should be our aim. Tracking your sleep with a Fitbit or similar helps you see how well you are sleeping. In a deep sleep is where tissue growth and repair take place. If we are not getting enough deep sleep, we will not feel as refreshed in the morning. Download my tips for a Good Nights Sleep.
  2. Mental Activity. Things to keep your brain healthy include mental activity, crossword puzzles, sudoku, reading, playing cards, and doing jigsaw puzzles. These all help train your brain. There are electronic games for brain training available too. Watching television does nothing to stimulate the brain as it is a passive activity.
  3. Stress has a significant impact on our minds and can contribute to memory loss. Therefore it is important to try to reduce your stress levels. Exercise, relaxation, good sleep, many of the things already mentioned will help reduce stress. Social interaction also helps our stress levels look for ways to connect with loved ones, friends, and others, especially if you live alone. Brain atrophy has been linked to solitary confinement, making the recent periods of lockdown hard for many. Therefore, it is important to stay socially active via the many online means during this time until we can meet face to face again.

Healthy Spirit

The spiritual part of our wellness is the most personal and overlooked piece of living a healthy life. We all would like to live with meaning and purpose, when this is met, we have harmony in our life. Here are some tips for spiritual wellness.

  1. Your spiritual core. By working with a group or therapist exploring your spiritual centre, you will ask yourself deep questions about who you are and your meaning. You may meditate on Who am I? What is my purpose? What do I value most?. Doing this will help you think deeply about yourself and help you achieve fulfilment in your life, possibly clearing energy blocks that are holding you back.
  2. Meditation this is a healthy spiritual practise, where you connect to yourself. Meditation has many benefits for your health. Start slowly, if you are not used to the practice start with clearing your mind of thoughts and focusing on your breath for 3 to 5 minutes each morning before you get up and evening before you go to sleep. Once you have mastered 5 minutes increase to 10, gradually increase by 5 minutes until you can do 20 minutes.

Benefits:-   (for more information on these benefits read my post “About Meditation and the Benefits)

  • Improved health
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Reduced anxiety
  • Decreased stress
  • Deep rest
  • Reversal of the ageing process
  • Increased perception and memory

To work with me as a therapist or join our fortnightly online meditation group email Rosemary

Bring Back Happiness in your Life Doing These 10 Things.

How do we keep happiness in our life?

How do we define happiness? Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar defines it as “the overall experience of pleasure and meaning”.  Meaning gives you a sense of purpose in life, and pleasure gives you a sense of joy and wellbeing in the present moment.

Therefore, to keep happiness in our lives, we need to add pleasure and meaning to it. This allows you to increase your happiness in the moment and in the future.

Negativity is hardwired into our brain, to help us be aware of threats, problems, and stressors in our environment. This bias has helped us survive over the centuries. However, we also need to wire some positivity and happiness into our brains, so we are not ruled only by our negativity.  Happy experiences and thoughts help us to grow new neural circuits in our brains. These neural pathways provide you with inner strengths such as resilience, gratitude, enthusiasm, and happiness. 

The following ideas will help you keep happiness in your life.

If you are suffering from depression or serious anxiety, you may need more than these tips. Please continue with any medication or therapy you have been prescribed. If you would like to work we me as a therapist, please get in touch.

  1. Taking a deep breath – by taking deep breaths, we can turn off our “fight-or-flight” response, and feel calm and more relaxed, helping our confidence and happiness. Taking this one step further, and learning meditation is another great way to help your happiness grow.
  2. Gratitude – Find things in your day that give you a feeling of gratitude. Examples are, I have a job, I have a loving spouse, I have time to engage in my hobbies. Let that feeling of gratitude sink in, by continuing to plant positive experiences in your thoughts it will begin to embed them into your brain.
  3. Focus on the positive things that happen – my car got through its MOT, I didn’t get angry with anyone today, these are similar to the above, but help you programme your thoughts to be positive to help create happiness.
  4. Smiles are contagious – the deliberate decision to smile activates happiness-inducing chemicals too. When someone smiles at you, often we smile back even if it is a complete stranger. Make yourself happy and someone else with smiling.  
  5. Consciously swap a negative thought or emotion with a positive one immediately. When we feel sad, helpless, or anxious, try to remember a situation, you were happy and focus on that memory.  This will change the brain from the emotional part to the thinking part, which will help you feel more in control.
  6. Posture – studies have shown slouching can cause you to experience more bad moods, lower self-esteem, and less confidence than people who sit upright. Good posture helps physical wellbeing, also prevents neck, shoulder, and back problems. All this will help with you feeling happy.
  7. Appreciate the small pleasures of life – good experiences; however, small help our feelings of happiness. Focus for a few moments on the small, pleasant experiences you have like, “I have completed one item on my to-do list”, “I have chatted to a friend”, “I have had a relaxing bath”, “going for a walk and seeing wildlife”. The more you can reflect on good experiences and let them become your thoughts, your happiness will slowly increase.
  8.  Appreciating yourself – Begin by listing things you have accomplished today, examples; – written an email to a friend, made an important phone call, or finished a project. Bringing your attention to all your strengths will lift your spirits.
  9. See the positive in your setbacks – Remember we all have setbacks when a problem arises and blocks a project you are working on, or something is cancelled at the last minute. Instead of getting upset and angry, look at it as a challenge, not a failure or block. Think of ways to move forward, a new opportunity.
  10. Positive screensavers and wallpapers – seeing pictures of happy experiences regularly throughout the day can help us focus on our happiness. These can also be inspirational quotes, there are many screensavers you can buy which give you a new quote each day. Looking at pictures and enjoying nature or a quote can help promote a healthy life, lowering our stress, blood pressure and increasing our happiness. Changing the pictures regularly, so you do not get used to one picture is a good idea.

How to Increase your Confidence and Self-Esteem for Success

How do you see yourself? Do you feel like a superhero? If the answer is no, and you do not believe you will do well in the world, you probably will not. We manifest what you believe, not what you want. Start to improve your confidence and self-esteem by believing in yourself.

Here are some suggestions: –

  • Improve your mind – Self-confidence starts in the mind.  Setting yourself some “me time” to nurture your mind, body, and spirit for an hour a day if possible, is a good habit to form. I like to read, meditate, walk, and do some light exercise. If you do not take time for yourself, you allow the opportunity for someone or something else to shape your perspective of the world.
  • Stop the negative thoughts – how negative is your self-talk? Practising mindfulness or meditation is a great way to reprogramme our negative thoughts. Positive affirmations as you go to sleep, or doing the housework also helps.
  • Learning – we should never stop learning, whether this is a professional course, a hobby, a spiritual practise, these all help our personal growth. By completing a course or project helps our confidence.
  • Impostor syndrome – it is so easy to tell ourselves what we have created in our lives was all down to luck, and let the feelings of inadequacy and fear set in.  We need to learn to adopt ways to accept our accomplishments, chatting with our peers helps with this.
  • Dress – During the recent lockdowns, many of us are working from home and staying in our PJs. If you want success, you need to get up and dress like you would if you were going to the office. When you look good, you feel good, which will then show in your attitude and confidence.
  • Learning a skill – public speaking, amateur dramatics, anything where you are in front of an audience, helps you think and react quickly. Any of these will help at meetings and improve your confidence massively.
  • Your value – self-confidence is not all about the success you have in business. You also need to find ways to connect with yourself and grow. This could be volunteering, meditating, exercise workout, and going out with friends. It needs to help you see your value outside of your work, even if your work is a parent.

Soul-Essence runs a fortnightly online meditation group email rosemary@soul-essence.com if you would like more information on meditation, energy healing or integral core therapy.

Effortless Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem Fast

Self Esteem – what is it?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.

When your self-esteem is healthy, you tend to feel positive about yourself and about life in general. It makes you more resilient to life.

When your self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life more negatively and critically. We also feel less able to take on the challenges in life and are less resilient.

Causes of Low Self Esteem

In childhood, we absorbed the positive or negative messages around us, from our teachers, siblings, parents, teachers, and possibly the media.

The most common message we take on is “We are not good enough”. You could never please your parents, teachers or other adults, therefore, creating thoughts about how we are expected to be or not be.

Life events, losing loved ones, serious illness will also impact our self-esteem.

How Low Self-Esteem Affects us?

Low self esteem or a lack of confidence encourages us to: –

  • Hideaway from groups or social situations.
  • Avoid trying new things.
  • Prevents you from challenging yourself.

These will temporarily make you feel safe, but hiding and avoiding situations, reinforces your doubts and fears, teaching you the only way to cope is to avoid people and situations. This will possibly lead to depression anxiety and habits like drinking and smoking.

Improving Your Self Esteem

Ideas to boost self-esteem and confidence.

  • Identify and list the negative beliefs that you have about yourself.
  • Think about when you first had these beliefs and why.
  • Now list positive evidence to counteract the negative beliefs.
  • List all the positive things about you, example “I am kind”, “I am good at ….”
  • Keep this list somewhere you see it regularly.
  • Add to this list each day and pick 5 to focus your attention on. Reminding yourself, you are GOOD ENOUGH.
  • Try to avoid spending time with people who bring your mood down. Let them know how you feel about the way they talk to you.
  • When you listen to that inner voice that is being very self-critical, think of how you would talk to a friend, and talk kindly to ourselves.
  • Stop saying yes to please others, when you don’t want to do something, let people know honestly how you feel. Learn to say no, so you do not become overburdened and stressed.
  • Remember, no one likes to be outside their comfort zone, by giving yourself a challenge and achieving your goal will increase your self-esteem. Start with small challenges and build to more complex ones.