Learn how to start the new year being kind to yourself!

Being kind to ourselves is an important aspect of self-care and personal growth. However, it can be difficult to practice self-kindness when you are feeling overwhelmed or dealing with negative thoughts.

Here are six suggestions to help you.

  1. Practise self-compassion. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Instead of criticising yourself for mistakes or negative thoughts, try to be understanding and supportive.
  2. Treat yourself with kindness. This means being gentle and patient with yourself, rather than pushing yourself too hard or being too critical. Take time out to do things you enjoy, such as reading a book, watching a movie, or going for a walk.
  3. Set realistic goals. Setting unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of failure and self-criticism. Instead, set goals that are challenging but achievable. Then if you fail to achieve a goal, be kind to yourself and try again.
  4. Speak kindly to yourself. Pay attention to the language you use when talking to yourself. Try to avoid using negative or harsh words and try to use kind positive and compassionate language.
  5. Forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is an important aspect of self-kindness. We all make mistakes, so it’s important to forgive yourself for past mistakes and focus on moving forward. I have written several meditations to help people with forgiveness.
  6. Seek professional help when needed. If you find it hard to be kind to yourself, or if your negative thoughts are impacting your daily life, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your thoughts and emotions in a safe and supportive way.

Overall, being kind to yourself is an ongoing process that require effort and practice. By setting realistic goals, speaking kindly to yourself, and seeking professional help when  needed, you can become more self-compassionate and happier.

Email me to book a session or for more information

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Two clear reasons why our sleep cycles change as we age.

How circadian rhythms work.

Our sleep-wake cycle would normally follow the sun. As the sun rises and the temperature gets warmer we wake up. As the sun sets, core body temperature falls, and we produce a hormone called melatonin to promote sleep. This daily cycle is known as our circadian rhythm, this is managed by the master clock in the brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN). Located in the hypothalamus, the SCN tells our body when to sleep, when to eat, and when to be the most active, based on cues such as light and temperature.

Circadian rhythms change throughout our lifetime, from middle age they shift half an hour every decade. This change means from 60 to 65 we perform mental tasks better in the morning and start to become sleepy in the late afternoon. There has been research that has shown circadian rhythm timing in older adults, can be more delicate, often leading to disrupted sleep if they do not sleep within certain times..

Two reasons circadian rhythms change with age.

  • Studies on mice have shown that the SCN becomes weaker with age. This leads to less pronounced fluctuation in our circadian rhythm, which in turn will produce less melatonin at night, hence older adults may have less of a distinction between being asleep and awake, resulting in sleeping less soundly at night and experiencing more tiredness throughout the day.
  • Light is the critical part in regulating our circadian rhythms. There have been many studies researching how light exposure changes as we age. As our eyes age, they do not let as much light in, also we may spend more time in weak artificial light, which is not as effective at regulating our circadian rhythm. After people have had cataract surgery, they often report better sleep, because more light is getting into the eyes.

Coping with these changes.

Older people still need the recommended 7-9 hours sleep. Sleep deprivation can make you tired, confused, and even depressed, symptoms which may be mistaken for dementia or other disorders. While it’s normal to experience sleep problems as you age, severe changes to your circadian rhythm may be an early sign of Alzheimer’s disease. Also, during deep sleep, toxins are flushed from the brain particularly the amyloid plaque. Amyloid plaque build-up is a cause of Alzheimer’s disease.

It is very hard to fight the natural cycles of our bodies, although we all try. If it is possible to change your sleeping pattern to an earlier time, you may have more sound sleep and get more deep sleep. Going to bed and waking up at the same time each day is also helpful.

Getting more light during the day may help you sleep better. If you are a night person try not to get too much light in the morning hours, take your walk or time in the sun in the evening. You could also use light therapy later in the day. This may help delay the melatonin release and make your body think your bedtime is later.

I will begin a course of meditations to help people sleep starting 12th January 2023 at 8pm. Cost £35 if paid on or before the 12th of January or £10 per session.

In the new year I will also have a course you can buy to help with sleeping.

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How becoming a parent helped me heal my suppressed energy and emotional conflicts

When I got into my early 20’s I wanted to get married and have a family. I had been with someone for almost two years. I was overjoyed when he asked me to marry him. We waited a couple of years before having children. We were lucky I had no problems conceiving and gave birth to three healthy boys during four and a half years.

Having children mirrored so many of the emotional conflicts I was masking and suppressing. I wanted my children to be independent like me, and they were encouraged to be self reliant. I always said they would fit round my life (control) not me fit round theirs. However, the control became part of normal life, I struggled with emotional intimacy, the relationship between myself and my partner was hard as we focussed only on the children and their needs. Never giving ourselves time together. Once our children began leaving for university, we realised we had nothing in common and both had traumas to heal.

At 42 I realised there was more to life, and I began looking for a way to heal my traumas. In 2004 I found the School of Energy Healing now the Foundation of Integrated Energy Healing. During my training to become an energy healer I was able to heal some of my trauma. Learning how to let go of this control was very enlightening. Working with others to help them recover from their suppressed emotions has also taught me so much more about myself.

Do not wait for 20 plus years like me to heal your childhood traumas, heal them now!

Email me to book a session or for more information

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Try a natural facial, learn how natural products improve your skin.

The products I use for a Natural Facial Treatment are all natural and paraben free.

On the 29th October and 26th November I am offering 30 minute Natural Facial sessions for £20. Between 10:30 am and 8 pm.

A Natural Facial treatment consists of:

  • Cleansing the face and neck with a gentle plant-based cream (aloe vera and jojoba oil)
  • Toning with aromatic flower water see descriptions on my website.
  • Using a warm compress to open the pores and aid absorption of oils into the skin.
  • Application of a natural face mask to draw out impurities.
  • Massage of the face, neck and scalp with carrier oils selected to suit the client’s skin type.

Read more here.

If you would like to book click here for my availability. For the discounted price ensure you book on 29th October or 26th November

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How I managed at school being small and being bullied

I joined my local comprehensive school in the early seventies. When I started, I was 4’2’’ and left having grown 9’’ inches to 4’ 11’’.

Because of my size, I was considered an easy target to bully. I remember either trying to be friends with the bullies or hiding away from them during my first year at secondary school. I had an exceptionally low self-esteem at this point, almost hating school. I was still a member of the Girl Guides, which continued to help me improve my self-esteem. By my third year, I decided to take Judo lessons, which boosted my confidence enormously, the bullies started to leave me alone, and I made more friends. I was also able to discuss and laugh at my deafness with people when I misheard words, and the scars from the scald on my hands had also faded considerably.

At fourteen, an eye test showed I needed glasses. My parents were only prepared to get me prescription NHS glasses. From what I remember, these are similar to some of the designs you get today. However, I refused to wear them, and I always would sit at the back with my friends, copying their work. There was no way I was going back to the primary school experience of sitting at the front of the class or giving the bullies something to tease me about. In some subjects, this majorly affected my results.

I left school at sixteen and started work as an admin in a Solicitors office; after six weeks, I joined BT. Looking back now, I can see how I would seek approval from the people I worked with, just like I did with my parents and friends during my first few jobs.

I worked to please other people; my first few relationships were also built around me pleasing my partner, not about loving them. I don’t think I knew what true love was. I made sure I left my early relationships first to avoid the hurt of feeling abandoned and rejected. I always felt the need to be in control and attempt to control others. I never let my true feelings show. I needed to be independent to show I was in control of my life.

While training as an energy healer, releasing suppressed energy, I started to get my life on track. Think back to the milestones in your life; how much have you suppressed? What is affecting your life now?

If you have traumas, mild or severe, energy healing can help you. Email Rosemary to find out more about how it can help.

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How finding out I was deaf in one ear affected my primary education.

When I was about three, my mum noticed I was often shouting when I talked, and she asked me to speak quietly. After a few weeks of my behaviour not changing and me being unaware I was talking loudly, she asked for a doctor’s advice. After various tests and my ears being syringe, the doctors were sure I was deaf in one ear; it was confirmed when I started school two years later. I had regular hearing tests, and there was always nothing they could do.

The diagnosis meant I had to sit at the front of the class and not with any friends I had made, which I always resented. Not always hearing what people said, or words, or topics correctly, people often thought I was rude because I did not reply or said something irrelevant. The one game I dreaded was “Chinese Whispers”, children would not let me turn my head for them to speak in my other ear, often the teachers also stopped me turning my head too. Of course, I had to make up something that had nothing to do with the original “whisper” being passed around the circle. During my first three years in infant school, I felt alone and made few friends. The scars on my hand from the scald were still quite noticeable, and some children found them offensive too.

Progressing up to the juniors was a little better. I was able to explain more about the deafness and scars on my hands. However, I still struggled to be part of a group, and I had no close friends. To try and gain friends, I would give away my things, do what others wanted, I had become a people pleaser, at home and school.

At the age of eight, I was able to join the local Brownies. Here I was able to be myself, have friends, build my confidence, and get support from the leaders.

The deafness was still strengthening the original abandonment issue caused by the scald.

It seemed “abandonment” would be an issue I was going to need to heal in my life. The energy healing training certainly went along way to heal this issue.

If you have had childhood traumas, mild or severe, energy healing can help you. Email Rosemary to find out more about how it can help.

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My Soul Journey – How being scalded at 18 months shut my feelings down.

Here is part two of my journey.

I was born into a loving family; although a little chaotic, there was no routine. My father did shift work, and my mother was always distracted, instead of getting dinner and doing any housework etc. My sister and I were often late for school and other activities, rushing in at the last minute.

When I was eighteen months, my father was looking after me, while my mother took my sister to a party. However, he left me in the kitchen while he went to the bathroom. While he was upstairs, I climbed onto a chair to try and pour a cup of tea from the pot he had just made. I was severely scalded and taken to the hospital.

I was placed in a cast; it was important I did not move, cracking the cast letting air in, would have left more scaring. Neither of my parents were allowed to stay with me at the hospital. I, therefore, did not settle, and my mother was called back that night to try and get me to sleep. I am told she sang me to sleep. I woke the next morning crying with no one I knew around. Over the three weeks, I was in the hospital, my parents visited each day and left at the end of visiting time. The picture above is ten days after the original scald injury after I had had the cast removed, and my parents were allowed to pick me up.

Being in pain and left alone with people I did not know at such a young age, I felt abandoned and insecure. Abandonment in my formative years resulted in me clinging to security, relationships, and routines. I did not trust life and possibly people; therefore, I feared change. This sense of abandonment undermines the trust I needed to develop a sense of security, hope and confidence in my life.

When I started the Energy Healing training, I had no idea how this childhood accident had caused me to feel abandoned as an infant and had affected my whole life. By working through these feelings, I was able to feel more open and secure.

If you have had childhood traumas, mild or severe, energy healing can help you. Email Rosemary to find out more about how it can help.

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My Soul Journey. Why I started my business Soul Essence back in 2007

Living in New Eltham South East London and watching my dad in the seventies and eighties help relieve people’s pain from arthritis and helping me when I had pain in my back and neck gave me my interest in healing.

While I was training as an Energy Healer, healing became my passion for helping others improve their health, both mental, physical, and spiritual. Throughout the training, we had to work on our own energy blocks and beliefs. It was amazing to see and feel the transformation in our own and others’ lives.

I have constantly learnt new skills to help others since my three-year professional training in Energy Healing, either by reading, attending courses or workshops. I have learnt how to have more control over my lifestyle. How to increase my vibration, connect to my source, depending on your beliefs, you may call source God, Universe, Grace, core, or higher self.

When I first did a meditation in my professional healing training, I struggled so badly, and I thought I would never be able to meditate. I was lovingly encouraged, and I persevered, and each meditation became a little easier. By the end of my training, I had started to enjoy meditation. By 2011, I loved it and began running groups for friends at home, which quickly had more people join and is now online and face to face. Therefore, to all those struggling with meditation, know it is okay for your thoughts to be there, each time it happens, bring your focus back to your breathing or the voice guiding the meditation. The more you do this this, the longer the gaps between thoughts will be, you will slowly be able to go deeper and heal your body.

Working energetically with the body and improving people’s health is so fulfilling. Clearing the energy blocks from peoples learned beliefs, and traumas, seeing them flourish is much more rewarding than working 9-5 in an office. I still had my own blocks to clear like releasing the fear around leaving a secure job and becoming self-employed. Releasing this fear has been the most challenging part of my journey. It is now 2022, and I am still working part-time on my business, Soul Essence. Since the lockdowns and pandemic, I feel like I am starting from the beginning again, thinking about retiring from my 9-5 office career and starting a new phase in my life.

I am writing a series of posts about my life and healing journey. To ensure you hear about the next stage, please follow my blog or Facebook page.

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5 Reasons to meditate and reduce your stress and anxiety.

By Soul Essence New Eltham

Clears your mind.

Meditation helps clear all the jumbled thoughts we constantly have in our heads, possibly causing overload and stress. By meditating, we can relax and focus on the guided meditation or feel and acknowledge our worries, painful memories, thoughts, and emotions and help them dissipate. You can also find the underlying cause of your anxiety.

Relaxation.                                                                                               

Meditation helps you focus on your breathing; by slowing your breathing and using your belly to breathe, you start to relax. Once our bodies start to relax, we feel less stressed and anxious.

Helps you focus.

Firstly, most meditations focus on the breath or a person’s voice for part of the time. If your mind wanders or thoughts come, let them go and bring your focus back to the breath or voice each time. The more you do this the longer you are able to focus before thoughts enter your mind. The more regularly you meditate, the better your ability to focus will become. This will help you be more productive and less stressed.

Helps you sleep better.

Problems with sleep are often due to stress. Stress can cause tension, worry and anxiety, making it hard to fall asleep. By meditating before bed, you will feel more relaxed and calmer, making it easier to get to sleep and improving the quality of your sleep.

Being present in the now.

Living in the past can cause stress and anxiety. We need to remember the past cannot be changed; we can only learn from past experiences. The future has not happened, and we can only change the future by what we do NOW. Therefore, we often feel unhappy, stressed and anxious. We may not even realise it, however constantly living in the past and future can make you feel tired and out of touch with yourself. Meditation can help you stay present and focus on the present moment.

We have a course of meditations to help reduce stress and anxiety, starting Thursday 1st September 2022. The course will be fortnightly at 8 pm.  The cost is £45 for all six sessions or £10 on the night. To check dates click here

Book a session now!

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Have you had long Covid? These breathing exercises may help you!

By Soul Essence New Eltham

You can use many breathing techniques to help your lung capacity and help recover from the effects of Long Covid and other illnesses. Some are easy to learn, and some take more practice.

Deep breathing can help the following: –

  • getting oxygen deep into the lungs, which helps you clear out mucus and other fluids.
  • strengthening the diaphragm, a major respiratory muscle located under the lungs.
  • increasing lung capacity by bringing much-needed oxygen into your bloodstream.
  • helping you feel calmer, which may be beneficial for coping with long-term illness and recovery.

We are often not aware we are shallow breathing. Especially when we are concentrating at work, typing at our computer, playing computer games, and even eating our meals. Shallow breathing can increase your chances of anxiety and panic attacks, dry mouth and fatigue, aggravate existing respiratory conditions, and often leads to cardiovascular issues. Considering all this, we can see why taking part in breathing exercises is important.

Meditation is often done by putting your focus on your breathing, particularly when practising Yoga. However, we can do meditation and breathing exercises without necessarily doing Yoga. Breathing exercises may help improve the symptoms of long covid, ongoing stress and anxiety caused by lockdowns and covid symptoms.

Soul Essence runs meditations which help improve your breathing and will also work with you on a one-to-one basis to improve your breathing technique.

Book a session now!

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Here are a couple of breathing exercises you can try at home.

Diaphragmatic Breathing (also known as belly breathing when doing Qigong)

You can do this standing, sitting, or lying down

  1. Relax your face, neck, jaw and shoulder muscles through meditation or a relaxation technique.
  2. Rest the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth or behind your top front teeth.
  3. Check your back is straight; support if necessary
  4. Close your eyes if sitting or lying down; if standing, bring your eyes to a soft gaze.
  5. Breathe at your normal pace for a few minutes
  6. Place one hand on your chest and one on your lower abdomen
  7. Breathe deeply in through your nose, feeling your chest and ribs expand. You should feel your belly expand against your hand
  8. Breathe out, feeling your stomach contract inwards
  9. Breathe slowly and deeply this way for 5 to ten minutes

Humming OM when exhaling

  1. Sit upright with your back straight. Use support if necessary
  2. Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth
  3. Keep your mouth/lips closed
  4. Breathe in deeply through your nose, keeping your lips closed.
  5. Keep your shoulders relaxed.
  6. Once lungs are full, exhale humming OM. Make sure you keep your lips closed.
  7. Repeat for several breaths.

If you find these helpful or want to know more about the breathing exercises and meditation I offer, please contact me.

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