How to Love Yourself and Bring Happiness in Your Life

When we are born, we feel loveable, providing we receive love from our parents and environment during our informative years and beyond, we will grow up feeling loved and not judging ourselves. When this does not happen, often because our parents did not love themselves, we are more likely to struggle with self-judgement as adults.

We all have an inner critic, that inner voice that is constantly telling us we cannot do things, or we are not good enough, we are not loveable and many more. This is our ego speaking; our ego comes from fear. Our truth, the unconditioned self, comes from love and lets us know we are loveable. Love is much more than a feeling; it is our true nature, the consciousness, our essence, our soul, and our spiritual DNA.

If your inner critic is regularly berating you, you may wish to look into ways to learn how to love yourself. Louise Hay recommends using mirror work to help people to do this. She suggests you look in the mirror every morning and repeat the affirmation “Life loves me” ten times. Notice your responses; sensations may be tension in your body, feelings may be sadness or happiness, and thoughts maybe I cannot do this. Do not judge your responses; there are no right or wrong answers. Just be honest with yourself. Life loves you is about unconditional love.

Once you have completed the above, repeat with the affirmation, “I am willing to let life love me today”, repeat until you feel comfortable sensations in your body. Be willing to work with these affirmations, and all things are possible.

Doing mirror work can be confronting at first, revealing your fears and self-judgements, be kind to yourself. By continuing to do the mirror work, you will start to move through your fears and self-judgements.  If you have had serious trauma in your life, I recommend doing this with a therapist or trusted friend. Remember, life mirrors how you feel. Your relationship with yourself influences your relationship with everyone and everything.

Therefore, once we can love ourselves, and are able receive love, our life will become so much happier.

If you would like any help or further information please email Rosemary

17 Affirmations to Help Calm your Anxiety.

Calm your anxiety with affirmations. Using the right affirmations for your anxiety, you will be able to calm your attacks be they take hold.  Below are some affirmations to help reduce your anxiety when you are on the verge of an attack. I would suggest keeping a list in your bag or on your phone until this becomes second nature and you have memorised the affirmations.       

How you can calm anxiety attacks with affirmations or mantras

These affirmations bring you into the present and allow you to ground yourself.  Repeating positive affirmations or phrases instil these messages in your brain, helping you become calm and in control. Affirmations are really simple and extremely useful to use when your anxiety strikes. Well known mantras are “om”, “om mani padme hum”, personal mantras could be “I am full of light”, “I belong, I have faith” mantras are most commonly used in meditation and have a more spiritual background. Although I have used these when out walking on my own. Mantras again are repeated frequently in your mind and will immerse you completely in an idea and bring you closer to your goal. Whatever you use to calm your anxiety has to feel right for you.

Challenge your negative thoughts with these affirmations.

To manage our anxiety, we need to learn how to change our anxious thought patterns using affirmations or mantras. When you start to feel your anxiety rising, instead of listening to the negative thoughts your mind immediately gives you, thoughts like, “I am having an anxiety attack” or “I am panicking”, these often lead to negative self-talk like, “I am so stupid, why did I do …….” Or I hate myself. Why do I do …………….”. As soon as you feel an attack coming, start to read your affirmations from your phone or written list. “I am calm”, “I can feel this fear and let it pass”,, and “I am in control”.

Breaking the cycle of anxiety with affirmations

Anxious thought patterns get embedded in the brain each time you experience an anxiety attack. You can either programme your brain to react to the situation with the negative thought patterns creating anxiety or use positive affirmations to reduce your anxiety. Therefore, you can break the cycle of anxiety by using positive affirmations and mantras to rewire your brain through plasticity.

Not using any form of positive strategies like affirmations or mantras, you feed your fear of a situation, confirming to your brain that this situation results in panic. Using affirmations, you lessen the fear, forcing your brain to see this situation is not scary and not needing to release fear and panic and the fight and flight hormones.

Using affirmations can serve as a distraction to your anxiety.

Using affirmations serves as a distraction from your anxiety, giving you something else to focus on. Having positive affirmations in places around your home, on your phone as wallpapers take your brain away from the panic. By focusing on these positive affirmations, reciting them, so you memorise them will immediately bring your focus away from the anxiety attack, which will end your attacks quicker after time.

Rewire the brain with positive affirmations

Studies and science have shown that our brains can be rewired by our thoughts. Therefore, positive affirmations and thoughts can change your brain to be more positive and creating less panic. We have all heard of positive thinking and positive self-talk; this is why it is so important. Your mind will always believe what you constantly tell it.  Continually affirming you are having a panic attack or will have one, your brain is more likely to make it happen. By repeating to yourself regularly, “I am calm,” your brain is more likely to make this happen.  Affirmations can change your life.

Affirmations to use when you are feeling anxious.

Below are some affirmations to use when you feel your anxiety and fear rising. These are short, so they are easier to remember and use: –

  • I am calm and in control”.
  • I feel the fear and let it go”.
  • “I am not defined by my anxiety”.
  • “I let my anxious thoughts flow in one ear and out the other.”
  • “I am okay.”
  • “I am getting through this anxious moment, just as I have done a million times before”.
  • “I am strong and resilient”.
  • “I choose to feel calm and peaceful”.
  • “I have survived this before; I will this survive now”.
  • “I am free from my anxiety. I am in control”.
  • “I am in charge of my breathing, and I can slow it down”.
  • “I can do this”.
  • “I am above stress of any kind”.
  • “I am familiar with these feelings, and they do not scare me”.
  • “I am surrounded by people who understand”.
  • “I am supported, loved and cared for”.
  • “I have the techniques and tools I need to persevere”.

Using affirmations to relieve your anxiety.

Affirmations can be used in meditation, while you are out walking when you are not experiencing anxiety, this further helps rewire our brains, there are many ways you can use them, you choose what is best for you. The one rule for helping anxiety is to recite an affirmation at least 10 times or until you feel it resonating with you, every time you are feeling anxious wherever you are.

When you have an attack you can, recite the affirmation silently to yourself, read it from your phone or paper list, or sit and write them down. Our brains all work differently, so choose the way feels most comfortable for you. You must keep repeating the affirmations for them to rewire your brain.

The above are only a few affirmations; there are hundreds more online and plenty of apps that will send you an affirmation each day. We are all at different stages of our anxiety, and using affirmations may not be enough for you. If you feel you need more support, please do not hesitate to contact me to support you further. There is lots of help out there, and you do not need to suffer in silence and alone.

If you are already on medication, DO NOT stop taking this without getting advice from your doctor.

How Trapped Emotions Cause Distress, Pain, and Muscle Tension in our Bodies.

Many of us carry repressed and trapped energy or emotions within the cells of our bodies, and we are completely unaware of them. We journey through life, oblivious to the blocked energy our cells and muscles are holding. Is this blocked suppressed energy causing your health condition and suffering? Every cell in our body has a memory, not just our brain cells.

The cause of Muscle Tension.

There are four different causes, your conditioning as a child, trauma, psychological tension, and your environment.

From when we are born to approximately seven years old we absorbed everything going on in our environment. A fair amount of our muscle tension is developed at this time and continues into adulthood. One of the unspoken beliefs we were taught as children, so we were acceptable or likable was “only babies cry”, so during our early years we learned to suppress our tears and sadness in order “not to be a baby”.  Many of us were punished for showing anger, therefore as children we thought it was bad to show anger and not taught how to deal with it positively.  All this energy is stuck somewhere in our bodies causing us pain or illness.

Traumatic experiences can range from being smacked to extreme abuse as a child. The trauma may have been deliberate (rape or assault) or accidental (car crash or other accident). These experiences can result in fear, stress and possibly even PTSD if they are not consciously dealt with.  All the anxiety, fear, anger, and grief are stored in your body, becoming muscle tension, and contributing to other illnesses, like fibromyalgia, digestive disorders, mental illnesses, and even cancer.

Psychological tension develops from our perceptions of life and causes anxiety, frustration, sadness, or anger. The more negative, fearful, or fault-finding our perspective is, the more tension we will store.

Our environment and habits also contribute to our muscle tension. Working at a desk all day and not exercising our muscles does not allow any tension to be released. Poor posture, lack of sleep, drug use, unhealthy eating, and environmental pollution tend to increase the likelihood of developing chronic muscle tension.

In Louise Hay’s book Heal your body, she writes about the probable cause of mental thought patterns have on the various parts of the body.

Shoulder Tension = Burden and Responsibilities.

Our shoulders represent our ability to carry out our experiences in life with joy. We make life a burden with our attitude. We have all heard the expression “carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders”. Louise’s affirmation is, “I choose to allow all my experiences to be joyous and loving.

Neck Tension = Fear and Repressed Self-Expression.

Our neck represents flexibility. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness, inflexibility, and issues with communication. Affirmation “It is with flexibility and ease that I see all sides of an issue. There are endless ways to do things and see things. I am safe”.

Our back represents the support of life.

Upper Back = Grief, Sorrow, and Sadness.

Lack of emotional support, feeling unloved, holding back love.  We store our grief, sorrow, and sadness in this part of our back. Louise’s affirmations “I love and approve of myself, life supports and loves me”.

Middle Back – Insecurity and Powerlessness.

This tension can come from guilt, being stuck in all that stuff back there. “Get off my back”. Feeling unsupported by people. Louise’s affirmation, “I release the past; I am free to move forward with love in my heart”.

Lower Back = Guilt, Shame, and Unworthiness

The tension here can be a lack of acceptance, low self-worth, fear of money, lack of financial support. Feelings of guilt, shame, sexual inadequacy, and trauma. Louise’s affirmation “I trust the process of life; all I need is always taken care of”.

Stomach = Inability to Process Emotions.

Our stomach represents nourishment and digesting ideas and emotions. We hold dread, fear of the new, and possibly have an inability to assimilate the new. Hence the expression “I can’t stomach it”. If you have tension is this area, you may struggle to process negative and positive emotions. Louise’s affirmation “I digest life with ease”, and Life agrees with me; I assimilate the new every moment of every day, all is well.

Buttocks = Anger and Rage

Our buttocks represent power; loose buttocks loss of power. Our suppressed anger and rage are often held in our buttocks. Hence the saying “pain in the bum”. Louise’s affirmation “I use my power wisely, I am strong, I am safe, all is well”.

If you would like to know more about how to release your suppressed energy and emotions, email Rosemary for more information or download my tips here