Are Your Relationships being Sabotaged by Your Inner Child!

No one gets through their childhood without a degree of wounding, some may continue to be in denial about this.  Staying blind to these wounds will allow them to have a way of unconsciously ruling us. If while growing up you were smothered and overprotected by your parents and you don’t look at this issue, you may overreact to even the slightest amount of control by your spouse. However, when you understand the dynamic with your parents can find the emotional freedom to make different, and healthier, choices. Being vulnerable and communicating your childhood hurts to your spouse. You can let them know what triggers you, what your “inner child” needs. You can then act, rather than only react.

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The wounded inner child – whether from childhood trauma or neglect – tries hard to get our needs for love, care and attention met. This could cause us to use manipulation with people and situations to get our own way, perhaps by becoming overly dependent upon someone else to meet our needs – as if they were our idealised


Alternatively, if we have given up on our efforts to get our needs for love met by someone else we might then become emotionally cut off and overly self-reliant and super-independent. All of which keep us disconnected from mature love – the very love that could heal our early wounds.

If any of the above rings true to you, you can find more information about the Inner Child in my Ebook or contact me for more information

Your Core-self

At the centre of your being is your core-self.

Let’s face it, we are all in a relative state of distress. We feel sad, anxious, dissatisfied. We yearn for a happier and an easier life, but often look in the wrong places and end up disappointed because we don’t understand our real needs. We want to feel ‘right’ and for things to ‘make sense’, yet most of the time we don’t realise what we are yearning for is our true core self.

We can think of our core as our authentic state of being before the impact of our life experiences and childhood conditioning took us away from it. It is the truth of who we are.  Place of oneness with all that is, a place of unconditional love, compassion, wisdom, joy, peace, contentment and healing.


We first experience a painful separation from our core as babies when we realise we are separate from unconditional love. We experience the imperfection of our parents, who can’t give us unconditional love. But felt even more deeply is the separation from the unconditional love of the divine. The source from which we came. Before we had the words to name it, or the reasoning to understand it, we suffered this most cataclysmic experience. This is called our core wound.

Over time our personality, beliefs and behaviours protect us by hiding and denying our core wound and burying it in the unconscious part of our mind, sometimes never to be discovered or understood for a whole lifetime. This ‘contraction’ is the root of all or emotional and psychological pain

Connecting with your core taps into a well of spiritual energy which will nourish and enhance all parts of your life. Every resource we might ever need is found there, already within us. Take a second to let that sink in. How could that realisation transform your life?

When connected to your core, life flows effortlessly. You feel more comfortable in your own skin. You begin to love and trust yourself and to perceive the world as a more supportive, enjoyable place. Regular contact with your core creates a gradual shift to higher level of consciousness.

Our greatest and deepest longing is to return to a place of wholeness, to return to our core.

I will be running workshops in 2017 to help people to connect to their  Core

Visit    or email me for dates and information

Core Realisation

I completed year two of a five year practitioner Core Realisation course last November with Amadis  Cammell.

Core  Realisation is a relational integral therapy as well as a spiritual facilitation modality.

Relational Integral Therapy (RIT) is the therapeutic application of Core Realisation. It unites practical transpersonal alchemy, spiritual psychology and body-oriented humanistic therapy.  RIT works to remedy the detrimental effects of our conditioning on our body defenses, ego structures and soul fixations. We need to identify how our upbringing compelled us to disconnect from our self, others and life as a whole. It also facilitates ways to access our integral essential spiritual nature and Core Self; we then may realise who we truly are and learn to live from our heart.

RIT is therapeutic as it focuses on healing our inner child, adult personality and soul; relational as it opens us to the “other”; and integral as it connects us to what is essential for wholeness.

There are 3 levels to RIT:

Energetics  work on our soma – the structures, vitality and sentience of our body. This facilitates emotional grounding, psychosomatic healing and embodied spirituality. Energetics comprises oriental energetics and somatic (body oriented) psychology modalities such as Qigong, Deep bodywork, Bioenergetics and core energetics.

Dynamics   work on our psyche and ego – our soul patterns and personal character. This addresses childhood wounds to resolve our personal, familial and communal relationships. Dynamics comprises relational humanistic psychology  therapies and core-centred modalities, such as Energetic Integration, Healing Theatre, and Alchemy of Transformation.

Resources  work with our core – the spiritual, essential and authentic nature of our Self. The premise is that the love, energy, essence and consciousness of our supernal being are the source of all healing meaning and purpose. Resources is born out of spiritual philosophies and practices in the Gnostic, Christic< Sufic, Buddhic and Daoistic traditions; as well as contemporary transpersonal systems such as Chan, Internal Alchemy, Pathwork and Diamond Logos.


Transpersonal – extending beyond or transcending the personal

Alchemy – finding the elixir of life

Soma – The body of an individual as contrasted with the mind or psyche.


Relationship Cord Healing

The purpose of relationship cord healing is to clear the unresolved past emotions and false beliefs that exist within a relationship such that, the transference of the past can be put aside and we can exist in the present with acceptance, love and mutual support of individual truth.

We have many relationships in our lives, therefore there are cords between your soul, past life experiences, genetic parents, parental relationships and our relationships with others, all these produce energetic cords between the people concerned, the longer the relationship or more intimate the stronger the cord, this is the case whether the relationship was loving or painful. Through these cords we send positive or negative energy. When a relationship ends, if these cords are not healed or sometimes they are energetically cut, negative or positive energy is still sent between those involved, this makes it harder to end the relationship.

Our first relationship is with our Mother, which becomes our foundation of our reality and then the influence of our Father and siblings etc. This sets up the way we will be in a relationship with others as adults. We fall into unconscious patterns when making adult relationships. To heal these patterns we have to go back to our formative relationships with our families i.e. Mother, Father and siblings. When we heal an issue in a formative time it heals all issues around that. When we have healing around relationships, the other partner gets healed as well.

For more information or to arrange a healing contact me or visit my website

Information has been taken from the School of Energy Healing course material.

Something To Think About

The relationships in your life are a reflection of your own consciousness.

The people in your life are perfect for you.

First of all the disdain you have for other people is simply a disdain you have for parts of your own self, projected outwards. You only notice things in other people that you have in yourself, that is why you notice them. When you criticise another human being, you are revealing your own shortcomings, when you admire and respect another human being, you are revealing those qualities which you admire and respect in yourself.  Because all you know about is you, that is all you can see out there. The people you hate the most are the ones who exhibit the very qualities which you like to express as eloquently as they do – your whole universe is a constant education, showing you who you are.

Other people are both necessary and a gift for you – they are your Zen Masters.

If someone irritates you, you really owe them a thank you – for irritating you, they are being your Zen Master and revealing a place inside of yourself which needs to be cleaned up. No one can irritate you if you are not irritable. As long as you are irritable, you invite with your irritable consciousness, people to irritate you.  You have to draw everything and everybody in your world to you with your consciousness. The people in your life are like sandpaper, smoothing out all your rough edges. When you have no rough edges left, either the sandpaper of other peoples negativity will disappear from your life, or if it appears it will not be able to touch you – psychological lingo – you won’t get “plugged in”. You will not join in the game – you will not feel the need to defend yourself. It will bounce off you like fleas (water off a ducks back). At that point, you are truly a warrior, marching down the path, trampling the weeds in your way; and nothing can stop you.

– author unknown, taken from  School of Energy Healing course material

The above relates to several of the spiritual laws
1. The Law or Attraction  – You are a magnet: you attract like you
2. The Law of Resistance  – What you resist persists in your life and drains you of energy. Embrace what you do want and feel alive.
3. The Law of Reflection  – Never try to change someone else, they are reflecting you. So look within and change yourself
4. The Law of Projection  – You do not know how anyone feels or is. Everything you see in another is a projection of an aspect of yourself
5. The Law of Attachment  – If you wish to be free, detach yourself from everyone and everything. It is a prerequisite for enlightenment.

Diana Coopers book “A Little Light on the Spiritual Laws” is an excellent resource for more information and life examples of the spiritual laws.

For more information on the therapies Soul Essence offer visit my therapies page